Spring Arbor University Controversy

There has been so much controversy about Spring Arbor University (SAU) lately. I'm not going to tell you how you should feel about this topic; I'm just going to state some facts and let you go from there. I'm going to list my opinion, obviously, but I'm not trying to make anyone mad or start a huge debate. I'm also not trying to hurt any feelings, or belittle any of you. I just want you to think, really think, and then form your own opinion. Don't let anyone else tell you what you should think, say, or do.

Click here to go to the article that has been passed around (what I've seen, at least).

In the article, it is stated that SAU has the "right to terminate or deny enrollment of those who influence upon our community should prove to be in our judgment intractable contrary to the best interests of our students..." That is in the handbook. Here is something else from the article that is also in the handbook: "The university has deeply held religious beliefs, based upon Biblical principles and the Book of Discipline, which do not allow for any sexuality, other than heterosexuality. The university also believes, based upon Biblical principles, that a person cannot change their birth gender."

Along with those handbook excepts from the article, these paragraphs are also in the handbook: "Spring Arbor University affirms the full humanity and dignity of every human being, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Among the sins that the Bible clearly condemns is sexual immorality and homosexual behaviors (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). All students, regardless of age, residency or status, are required to abstain from cohabitation, and involvement in premarital or extramarital sexual activity, or homosexual activity (including same-sex dating behaviors). This includes promotion, advocacy, and defense of the aforementioned activities.

We recognize that there are individuals who experience same-sex attraction, and or confusion about gender with our community. They are loved and valued and we condemn any malice directed toward them. Regardless of one's perspective or tradition, we encourage all of our community members to engage this issue with civility and respect."

There is also a section of the handbook about the Title IX policy: "It is the intent of Spring Arbor University in keeping with its equal opportunity policy, to comply with Title IX of the Educational Amendments of 1972, and related regulations. The University, in compliance with Title IX, does not discriminate on the basis of sex in treatment, admission or access to, or employment in its programs and activities, as limited by the University's religious exemptions."

Here's where my opinion comes in:
I understand why the article only stated the one side. Am I mad the article only posted the "bad" stuff? Not at all. That's how these things work: they only post certain things to get people all hot and bothered. While what they did post about SAU is true, they posted it in a way to make SAU look really bad.

There are so many good things about SAU. The people are the number one thing. Of course there are people who are not very nice and may make someone feel terrible about who they are, but 99% of the people I have met are absolutely wonderful. Just because the legal stuff has been posted everywhere (which is nothing new to the handbook), people think everyone who is associated with SAU is a judgmental hypocrite.

I, for one, am so proud of my university. I am proud I went there. I am proud I graduated from there. I am proud of who I am because of attending there. Am I proud of absolutely everything I know about them? Not necessarily, but I do understand where they're coming from with certain things. I think it's great when people are so passionate about their beliefs, but not so passionate they hurt other people.

I have never discriminated against someone at SAU, and I can't think of anyone who has. I have never had a friend tell me she or he had been discriminated against. I think the main reason people are angry, is because they're scared (I'm not saying everyone who is angry falls into this certain category). But I think they're scared that something will happen and SAU will be different when they return.

What I have never understood, is why people go to SAU when they don't believe what SAU believes. I understand scholarships or parents, but there are some people who are just there and they hate being there. It hurts my heart to know people are getting upset over something like this.

I just wish more people would try and look at things from the other side, and try to see where SAU is coming from. I loved my time there, and I think if people would just step back for a minute and think about their time there, they wouldn't be so angry.

If you aren't going to be mean and nasty, please let me know what you think! I would love to read your opinion!

XOXO

Jen

Healing the Incurable

My friend, Emilee Barnes, wrote a book while we were in college. The title of her book is 'Healing the Incurable' and it is 24 different cancer stories. Some of the stories are from people who have battled cancer, while the other stories are from people who have witnessed someone battle cancer. I talked to her about my grandmother, and here is the story she wrote:

Cute. Jennifer Harris hopes to someday teach first grade because, "they're so cute." She describes her grandmother, Ethel Watson, and the "cutest little old lady, just puttsin around the house in her house slippers." Jennifer remembers the way her grandmother invited people into her home, and immediately showed them the kitchen, because she wanted to be sure they would never be hungry. "She was just so cute." Jennifer also remembers the steady decline of her grandmother's "puttsin around the house," when her grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer that quickly took her life.

Jennifer had completed two years at community college by November 2008, when her family began noticing her grandmother was sick, but nobody was sure what it was. The answer came that December, when her grandmother told them she had been diagnosed with lung cancer.

As the months progressed, Ethel was more bed ridden and wasn't eating, but was still coherent. By May, she lost coherency, and began having hallucinations. Her cancer spread to her hips and back. The doctors wanted to do rounds of radiation, but it was too late, and could only help subdue the pain.

The last time Jennifer saw her grandmother was on her grandmother's birthday, June third. She remembers her being in constant pain that day.

"Just leaning over to kiss my cheek seemed to exhaust her," said Jennifer. "We knew she was going, we just didn't know when."

Seventeen days later, June 20, Ethel passed away. Just two months later, Jennifer left for college, and began adjusting to a loss, and a new phase in her life.

"It was during that time that I learned how strong I actually was," said Jennfier "That semester I lost two grandparents and moved away from home, to a school where I knew nobody."

To help with her grief, Jennifer went to Spring Arbor Free Methodist's group, Grief Share, and highly recommends it to others dealing with loss.

"Try to find people to talk to, go to Grief Share," said Jennifer. "If you need to go to the bathroom and cry in the middle of class, do it. Holding it in will just make everything worse."

Jennifer and her family gather for holidays and birthdays. The joy and hospitality of her grandmother is no longer "puttsin" around the house, showing new people the kitchen. Jennifer now honors her grandmother by participating in American Cancer Society's: Relay For Life helping to raise funds to help others celebrate more birthdays.


Here is the picture that was right next to my story:

Obviously, I am not a first grade teacher ;) There is so much more, and I can write it all, but I haven't yet. I'm sure I will in the future. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

If you want to read more of Emilee's writings, here is a link to her blog, Holistic Hub. She writes about her experiences with Shaklee (which I previously wrote a blog post).

Do you have any experiences with cancer? I would love to hear your story!

XOXO

Jen

Relay For Life

I have been involved with Relay For Life since 2008. I was walking through the building of my Community College when I saw a table. I don't think I had heard of Relay For Life before, but I was interested in what it was about. At this point in my life, I had not known anyone in my personal life who had battled cancer. The lady behind the table, Karen, explained everything to me, and I was super pumped to join the team. Ever since then, I have been super excited every year for the day of my relay event.

I moved away to university the following year. My first year at university, we had a campus Relay For Life! My friend, Shelby, was a team captain, so I joined her team. We had a lot of fun, and we did really well :) My second year at university, we didn't have an event.

My third year at university was exciting because it we were having another relay event, and the team captain of the committee, Emilee, wanted committee members. I immediately joined and went to every meeting!! I instantly knew I wanted to deal with the music part of the event. I knew plenty of musicians, and I like to think I have a pretty decent taste in music ;) I was supposed to have a partner, but no one else showed up for the position, so I was the Entertainment and Activities chair (at least...I think that was my official title). I will admit it was a lot more challenging than I originally thought. I still loved the opportunity to serve and help the wonderful foundation. I was the same chair person the following year at school too.

This past school year, I wasn't at university, so I wasn't on a committee. Also, the Relay event that I usually go to after I get out of school each year (the one with my friend Karen), was the same day as my graduation, so I wasn't able to make it to that one. This was the first year I wasn't involved with a Relay event, and I didn't like it at all.

Now that I've told you everything about myself and relay, I'm sure some of you are wondering what the heck Relay For Life is. Here are some bullet points, taken directly from the Relay For Life website:

• Organized, overnight community fundraising walk
• Teams of people camp out around a track
• Members of each team take turns walking around the track
• Food, games and activities provide entertainment and build camaraderie
• Family-friendly environment for the entire community

All the money raised from each event goes to the American Cancer Society. The American Cancer Society then uses all the money to try and find a cure for cancer. It is such a fantastic event, and it's for an even better cause. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me, or visit their website here. You can even search for events happening near you and go check one out. I promise it will be a fantastic time :)

Here's a random picture collage of all my shirts. The last 2 are my committee shirts (I also have white shirts from those years too). Since I wasn't involved with an event this year, I don't have one from this year :(
My hope is to one day have enough relay shirts to make a t-shirt blanket :)

XOXO

Jen

Cancer

I lost my grandmother June 20, 2009 to lung cancer. I didn't really get close with my grandma until my senior year of high school, but she was very special to me. While cleaning out my closet the other night, I found some papers from an old journal. The only entry (which is technically 2), is about her. This is very personal and scary for me to put out there, but I feel like I need to. I think she had a bad day sometime before I wrote this entry. Here is what I wrote:

March 23, 2009
What am I going to do? I can't take this stress any longer. This is all too much for me to handle. I want to be strong and I want to not be in constant sorrow 24/7, but that just isn't how my life is going to work. I can't handle this. I feel selfish for making this all about me. She's the one with cancer. She's the one that should have a journal for her feelings, not me. I wish I could take all her pain away. I would put it all on myself just for her to feel better and be cancer-free. Grandma Ethel has gone through too much in her life already, why does she need to leave it with lung cancer? It's not fair. No one should have to feel cancer's evil wrath, whether it be someone with the disease, or a loved one of something with the disease. She is the glue that holds this family together. Without her, we would all just fall apart. What did we do to deserve this? I wish there were some way, any way, that time can be reversed and she didn't get cancer. Ot, that it would just go away. I don't know how we will survive without her. She is one of the most amazing people on this planet. She can hate your guts, yet she will feed you, clothe you, and give you a warm place to stay. Except, I don't think she hates anyone. Just dislikes. I haven't cried in about 24 hours. I'm proud of myself. I don't want to think about the day she finally goes to see the Lord, but it seems to be the only thing I can think about. Does that make me a bad granddaughter? Or am I, maybe, trying to prepare myself for that dreadful day? Either way, I wish I could stop. It seems the only time I don't think about that is when I'm sleeping. Even then she's sometimes in me dreams. I'm going to sleep to dream happy things because I know I won't be happy anymore when I wake up and have to face the harsh reality...

12 hours later
I feel a little better. Only because I know grandma is feeling better. I don't think I'm going to cry today either. I sure hope I don't. I usually only cry when she's having a bad day. I like to talk to Lisa about everything because she helps. Even if she starts crying, it helps me to know I'm not the only one. I've been looking at different pictures and tattoo ideas on Google a lot these past few days. I thought I knew what I wanted until I saw all the other cure designs on the web. Now I have no clue what I want to get or where I want to get it. It's just extra hard because lung cancer ribbons are white. White isn't going to look good as a tattoo. So I don't know what to do about that. Lisa said the things that best describe grandma are coffee or cigarettes. If I liked coffee or cigarettes, maybe I would consider that idea. Just kidding. I want something cute, that I won't be afraid to show off, but I can also hide it if I want to...

Lisa is my eldest cousin. We bonded a lot during this time.

Cancer is so stupid. As I was writing this post, my ma got a call saying her uncle died from cancer. I have never hated anything as much as I hate cancer. It's not fair.

XOXO

Jen

Cleaning

I like to keep everything. I am very sentimental, and everything has meaning to me. That makes it extremely hard for me to clean and throw stuff away. I don't think I'm a hoarder, but I definitely will be if I don't get my act together soon! I am about to start cleaning out my closet, and it is packed full of totes with stuff. 26 years of stuff. In one closet. I don't even know what all is in there, but I'm scared to find out.

I'm one of those people who gets distracted by EVERYTHING I find when cleaning. I have been my entire life. Honestly, because it's been so long since I've seen it. It takes me a lot longer than most people to clean. But when I do, I do a really good job.

You would think that if I haven't seen something in a long time that it wouldn't mean so much...right? Totally wrong. When I see something (seriously, even a piece of paper), if I remember what it's from, or who gave it to me, I am flooded with all these feelings from when I first got it. That's a blessing and a curse.

But I'm totally going to be in the mindset of just throwing away things I don't need (donating if possible). Cleaning my closet has been on my mind for a couple months now, I just haven't had the courage to start....haha. But now, I am ready to de-clutter my life!

Yes, I will post before and after pictures....eeeeek! I'm scared for you to see the before!

Are you super sentimental? Do you like to keep everything too? Let me know! Let's bond over all of our stuff ;)


EDIT:
I was literally up all night. I don't remember what time I started, but I did take a few breaks so I could eat, and just to get off the floor...sitting on the floor is not comfortable.

I started with: 7 totes, 3 bags, 2 pink crates, that green plastic bin, the purple Relay For Life bag, and 1 suitcase.

I ended with: 4 totes (the 5th one is stuff I wanted to leave out, but was so tired that I threw it in a tote and took a picture so I could go to bed), that green plastic bin, the purple Relay For Life bag, and those 2 pink crates.

*Side note* If I had a book case, I would lose the Relay For Life bag, both pink crates, and probably a tote. I have so. many. books.

Here is the before and after:

 Here is a picture of the 3 1/2 bags of garbage:

Here is a picture of the bag of shoes I'm donating:

Whew. I feel better knowing all that junk is gone. Today is garbage day, so it's all gone for good for me! I am nervous about people seeing my before picture, but oh well. I'm not going to lie about it....no matter how embarrassing it is haha.

Hopefully I've inspired some of you to do some deep cleaning. It feels so good to be done. All I have to do now is go get my totes from the shed (which is infested with spiders) and clean out THOSE totes. Then I will put what's left in my closet (making it full again, but a clean full), because I do not want my totes in that shed any longer!

....I think I need to get brave enough to get to the shed first....or have my mommy get them for me ;)

XOXO

Jen

5 Love Languages

Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? Gary Chapman is a genius and made a million different versions of this test for specific people (okay, there are only like 7 different versions). If you want to know what your love language is, go here and take the basic test: Love Language Test (this should open in a new tab)

Basically, the 5 love languages are 5 different ways that someone is loved/shows love to someone else. Here are the 5 love languages:

• Words of Affirmation
• This language uses words to affirm other people
• Acts of Service
• For these people, actions speak louder than words
• Receiving Gifts
• For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift
• Quality Time
• This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention
• Physical Touch
• To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch

I've taken the test plenty of times, and it is usually the same. The only thing is my numbers 2 and 3 change. Depending on how I'm feeling when I take the test, those two will switch places. Here are my love languages in order (as of today...I've also copied and pasted what the website says about each result):

• Words of Affirmation
• Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.
• Quality Time
• In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.
• Physical Touch
• A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.
• Acts of Service
• Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.
• Receiving Gifts
• Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else's love and affection for you.

If you haven't taken the test yet, be prepared that you will most likely want to choose both answers, but that isn't how it works-just choose the best answer that fits right now. I promise you, you will not be disappointed with your results.

I love how in-depth each section is. If you were to purchase a book, there are chapters devoted to each language.

Words of Affirmation makes the absolute most sense for being my number 1. I am extremely sensitive, and I remember every little negative thing that is said. You know how people say it takes 7 compliments to make someone forget a negative statement? Totally not how my brain works. I could get nothing but compliments for 100 years, and I would still remember that one negative comment from 101 years ago. Sometimes I'm okay, and I forget, but I will remember the meanest stuff at the most random times. What people say mean everything to me, but I'm slowly learning to not get so worked up over things like that. When someone does compliment me, my reaction is sincere, and it makes me feel absolutely wonderful. What makes me laugh, is I am super awkward at receiving compliments. I never know if I should just thank them, or if I need to compliment back. But I love them so much.

Quality Time means a lot to me. I would rather sit in a room with someone I love, doing nothing, than go out on the town with acquaintances. When I was away at school, I often felt as if I were annoying my friends, because I just wanted to spend so much time with the same people. I feel really special when someone wants to spend time with me. It really is the little things that make me the happiest. I don't need to go out and have a lot of money spent on me to feel special.

Physical Touch is so big with me. The only thing with physical touch is it has to be from someone I love. Let's be honest: there are certain people I find annoying, or I just don't like. If that person were to touch me, I wouldn't like it. But if someone who is special to me gives me a hug, or just touches my arm or something as we're talking, I love it. I love it so much more if the person hates physical touch (and said person initiates the touch). It seriously just takes touching my arm while we're talking to make me feel loved.

Acts of Service is really nice, but not that important for me. I hate asking people for anything, so I feel really weird if someone does something for me. I'm actually working through this right now with inviting people to try Shaklee, because some of my fears are so deeply rooted in something like this, that I freak out every time I even think about asking someone for help with something. Maybe in the future this will have a higher score.

Receiving Gifts is a tough one for me. I LOVE giving gifts, but I don't really like receiving them. Let me clarify: I LOVE when someone has taken the time to make or buy me something, but then I feel bad that they spent so much time/money/energy on something for me. I would rather have a note than a gift, to be honest. And, yes, receiving gifts for special occasions is okay, but I don't know. I still think I would rather have a note or something.

What order are your love languages? Let me know! I would love to chat more with you!!

XOXO

Jen

Church

I was in the process of writing another blog post when I decided it would probably make more sense to post this one before that one. I want to talk about my church experience and why I always say, "...before I got back into church..." so people understand what I actually mean. It sounds self-explanatory, but I just want to make sure no one is confused.

When I was a little girl, there were like 6 of us girls who would always play together in the neighborhood. 2 of the girls were sisters, and their aunt went to church. I don't remember when, but she started taking all of us girls to church with her. When were were in 3rd grade (I think), those 2 sisters moved to a different city, far away. That meant their aunt couldn't come pick us up anymore. Since my parents don't attend church, they didn't like the idea of driving me to a building full of strangers (to them) and leaving me there. So, that's when I stopped going to church.

There were random times, though, when some other friends and I (once we were older) would get on a church bus and go to Awana. I don't remember that too much, and it wasn't very consistent (I know we went quite a bit, but I think it was less than a year). We also got on that bus and went to church camp every day for a week (now that I think about it, I'm sure it was VBS...and I think it was only once).

Fast forward to the beginning-ish of 10th grade. I had moved to Florida the summer before my freshman year of high school. I met a girl, Amanda, on the bus, and we instantly clicked and became best friends. One random day, she asked me if I wanted to go to church with her. I never had anything against church people-I just didn't go. I decided to attend the Wednesday night youth service and I instantly fell in love. To be 100% completely honest, it was the music that got me hooked. The worship team was so good, and I loved the vibe there.

Shortly after, I was on the worship team and loving church so much. I can't recall one bad thing I thought about anything church related. I was also very active in another church, where some other friends belonged. For the rest of 10th and all of 11th grades, and in the summer, I was at church on Sunday for morning service, Monday or Tuesday for worship team practice, Wednesday for youth service, and Friday for a hangout (this was at the other church). The time I spent with all of those wonderful, wonderful people is forever dear to me.

The summer after 11th grade, I moved back to Michigan. I instantly knew which church I wanted to attend-the same church I went to as a little girl. Thankfully, we moved only a short distance from the church. I have looked the exact same since elementary school, so some of the people kinda recognized me, but others were so new that they had no clue who I was. Since I had spent so much time there as a little girl, it was so nice to return and know my surroundings.

Within the first year (or year and a half), there were 3 of us girls who were the "worship team" kinda. None of us played any instruments, so we just had the entire youth group stand in a circle and we lead the worship songs. After that, we got a new youth pastor, and his wife was the worship leader. I wasn't on the worship team at this point, but it was nice to be in the crowd for some time :) After they moved, we got another youth pastor, and there was a different worship leader. I think that may have been when I joined the worship team again. But I also think that may have been around the time I went off to college, so I don't think I was there for too long. Although, every summer (until the summer of 2012 I think), I would come back and be on the worship team while I was home. Before I went off to university (while I was in community college), my best friend had another church that she went to, which was held on Thursday nights. We attended quite frequently-until they closed down.

I went to a Christian University, so I sometimes attended the church across the street from campus. I wasn't too involved with that church until my final semester there, which is when I started working with the 4 and 5 year old children before Sunday service.

Now, here I am. I have only been a member of 2 different churches, but I have been to at least one service at about 11 different churches (not counting church camp). It's crazy to me to think that 9 of those have been in the past 11 years. It's also crazy to think that I have been back in church for 11 years. This has been quite a ride, and I am blessed. :)

If you have any more questions (I feel like this is still confusing...ha), feel free to ask!

XOXO

Jen

Q&A

Since I don't know where I want to go with this blog yet, I asked a friend for some topics. My friend, Tabitha, gave me some great ideas! One of them was to answer some interview questions. I found some random questions online. I think is a great way for people to get to know me if they don't already, and for those who do know me to get to know me better. :)

1. What is your favorite word?
• Hausaufgaben is the German word for homework. It is such a fun word to say, and it is the main thing I remember from taking German in high school. [Ich habe Hausaufgaben = I have homework]
2. What is your least favorite word?
• Moist is a weird word that makes me feel a little gross.
3. What is your favorite smell/scent?
• Winter Cranberry by Bath and Body Works
4. What is your favorite movie?
• Non-musical: Mermaids
• Musical: The King and I
5. What color are your eyes?
• I have a mutation called Heterochromia Iridum. That means my eyes are different colors: my right eye is hazel and green, while my left eye is hazel, green, and brown. For documents and legal papers I just put hazel.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
• Hearing my nephew laugh is one of the things that makes me so incredibly happy. He brings me the absolute most joy.
• I also love some good dissonance in any Eric Whitacre song ;)
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
• It all depends on my mood. Right now, I hear birds chirping outside my window and it sounds lovely. In the morning, when I'm trying to sleep, I hate it so much.
• I really just hate all noise (except a light fan for background noise) when I'm trying to sleep. I'm an extremely light sleeper.
8. When was your life changed dramatically as the result of some seemingly random influence or occurrence?
• When I was in 10th grade, my best friend, Amanda, invited me to go to church with her. I went as a little girl, but I had not gone in quite some time. I went, loved it, and have been changed ever since! :) :)
9. What is your favorite flower?
• Tulip
10. Are you ticklish?
• I am extremely ticklish and I hate it so much. I absolutely loathe being tickled. Being tickled makes me feel the exact same as if I were being scared, except I'm forced to laugh. I hate it so. so. so. so. much.
11. Can you do any accent other than your own?
• Not at all! I'm absolutely terrible at accents.....well, other than a southern accent (I'm not good, but I'm decent enough). Yay for being down south at an impressionable age.
12. Which profession would you like to attempt?
• I would like to be an entertainment/activities director at a nursing/retirement home.
• POSSIBLY: Work at the American Cancer Society (I don't know what I would do)
• POSSIBLY: Be a hairstylist
13. What is your favorite genre of music?
• Motown
14. If you could meet one person (dead or alive), whom would you meet?
• Anne Frank
15. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
• I really want God to be super sassy with me. I would LOVE it if He said something along the lines of, "Sup, gurl? I've been waiting for you to roll up here." or "Hey, girl, hey!" or "How you bee-oooooh yeeeaaaah....riiiiiiiight. *whispers* The whole death thing. *end whisper* My b."
• I would also really like, "Welcome, my child. I've been waiting for you."
• I would love it if he immediately took me to all my loved ones. 

XOXO

Jen

Shaklee

I think I am the last person on Earth to hear about Shaklee. My friend, Emilee, called me at the end of May, and introduced me to the wonderful world that is Shaklee. I had absolutely no idea about anything she was telling me, but it sounded so good. Honestly, most of it sounded too good to be true.

I haven't told Emilee this, but I have a hard time turning people down with invites like this. Part of me wanted to decline her offer to go to a webinar, but the bigger part of me felt bad and wanted to help her out. I have never been so glad that I hate saying no to people. I went and I really liked the webinar. The people were really nice, and made me feel so comfortable.

I ended up going with their 'Learn and Earn' program and got some amazing products for free! The 'Learn and Earn' program consists of going to webinars, taking health tests, taking "classes", listening to podcasts, and just learning everything there is to learn about Shaklee. After I completed the program, I was able to get my free products! I received the chocolate smoothie mix, blueberry and almond crunch meal-in-a-bar, peanut butter and chocolate chip meal-in-a-bar, and a shake bottle for free. Those products lasted me about 2 weeks. I would drink a shake (smoothie) in the morning with my breakfast, eat a meal bar for lunch, and eat a regular dinner.

During those 2 weeks, I lost between 5-6 pounds! The first week I did no extra exercise and still lost weight. That absolutely blows my mind. The second week, I did 30-60 minutes of exercise every day. The fact that I was able to lose weight without doing anything is so amazing. That means this can work for people who are immobile.

I've never tried any weight loss supplement or diet before Shaklee. My parents have had different diet pills around the house before, but I was always too scared to take them. I had always heard about the terrible side-effects with those products, so I stayed away....no matter how tempted I was. I am so glad I was introduced to Shaklee for weight loss. Everything is all-natural, and I'm not ingesting any weird chemicals that tend to be in other weight loss products.

Shaklee is so much more than weight loss, though. If you can think of a product, odds are they make it. They have: shampoo, conditioner, laundry detergent, dish soap, hand soap, chapstick, lotion, serum, SO MUCH STUFF. But! What they're really about is vitamins. They have so many vitamins for so many different things, it's unreal. I know of people who have had so many health problems before Shaklee, and most (if not all) went away because of Shaklee. People have gotten off so many prescription medications and are taking all-natural supplements to better their bodies.

I can't wait to get more Shaklee and become a healthier me! If you have any questions regarding anything Shaklee related, feel free to comment below and I will definitely get back to you! I just want everyone to start feeling better :)

XOXO

Jen

Fatty Self Confidence

This is a Facebook note from November 28, 2013.

Before you read this, I need you to know this is not a "woe-is-me" post. This post is just my thoughts that I had last night, and I need to get them out. Also, this is really long...as are the rest of my notes. Did you really expect anything else? I'm being super vulnerable posting this. Be kind.


I've been obese my entire life. As long as I can remember, I've had wayyyyyyy too many extra pounds all over my body. As a result of that, I have never had much self-confidence. I have let it stop me from doing SO many things. It doesn't help that I was teased about it growing up, but that's not the point of this note.

I stood in front of the mirror last night, as I've done plenty of times before. This time was different, though. This time I made myself actually look at myself. I rolled up my shirt and just stared at my stomach. I twisted and turned, moved it around, and poked it for about 10 minutes, just thinking. Why have I let something like that take over my life the way it has? It's just fat. It does not define me. I saw a quote last week, and I loved it. It said, "You are not fat. You have fat. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE." I mean, I've been calling myself fat for years. I wasn't doing it to be mean to myself (most of the time); I was being truthful. I have a lot of fat on me, so I called myself fat. Ever since I heard that quote, though, I can't stop thinking of how terrible I've been to myself about my weight.

We all know I love a good fat joke....especially when I make one about myself in front of skinny/fit people who don't know me too well (you should really see their faces). But still. I know being able to poke fun of myself is a good quality, but what does that really say about myself? What do people think about me after that happens? Do they think I'm okay with it? Do they think I'm hiding behind the jokes? I feel like I fixate on my weight more than any of my friends do. That makes sense, because I live with it every day, but...how would my life be if I just accepted myself?

I think it's safe to say I am addicted to food. I've never said that aloud before, but it makes sense to me. Like most people who have a lot of extra weight on their body, I am an emotional eater. Lately, I've also been obsessed with weighing myself...like, multiple times a day obsessed. I KNOW that is bad, but I just can't help it. And if I see a number that I don't want to see, then I get upset, and I feel like nothing else I do that day will help. My thought process is ALWAYS, "Well...one [blah blah blah] won't make a difference anyway." but then I totally eat more than one. I also have little-to-no will power. There have been a few instances where I was doing super well, and I was able to deny everything bad for me, but that's not how it usually works...especially if I'm...emotional. [I know this is a problem, and I am working on it]

I think the worst thing about being addicted to food is that I need it to live. Granted, I don't need the foods I'm eating, but I still have to face food every day. It's not like other addictions where it only harms my body. Unlike those other addictions, if I don't put this substance in my body, I will die. [I'm not saying it's not my fault]

BUT! Unlike most people who have a lot of extra weight on their body, I am kinda healthy: I don't have diabetes. I don't have a thyroid problem. I don't have heart problems. I don't have to use a walker. I'm not confined to a wheelchair. I don't have to be on oxygen. I don't have to stop and rest after walking only a few feet. Yet. These things are all in my future if I keep living the way I am.

As I was staring at my stomach last night, I realized that I just need to be happy with myself. If I can't love myself at this weight, I won't be able to love myself at a lesser weight. For years I've thought that losing weight would bring me self confidence, but that's not it at all. The only way I can get more confident about myself is to love myself for who I am and what I look like. Right now.

For 25 years, I have hated everything about my body. Do you know what that's like? I can't do that anymore. I won't do that anymore. Whether it's from all the junk food I've eaten my entire life, or whether God just really wants me obese, I need to accept the way I am now, that way I can accept myself later.

I'm still going to work towards getting healthier and losing some pounds, but I'm going to be doing it for the right reasons now. I don't need to lose weight to be happy with myself. Not anymore.

XOXO

Jen

Starting Fresh

Aaaaahhhhhh a new blog. It feels nice to start from scratch. I don't know what will come of this, but I do know that it will be random. I like to think I can stick to a blogging schedule, but I never have.....and I've had plenty of blogs.

I think I'm going to start by posting a few of my favorite old blogs or Facebook notes. It will be nice to have everything in one place.

Let's enjoy this journey together.

XOXO

Jen