Past and Future Life

I miss so many things about my past: walking to and from school with my best friends, riding the bus, staying up all night spilling secrets with my best friend, friends from school, being on a worship team, student life camp,  choir concerts, grandparents day every Monday after school, Saturday mall days with my grandma, spontaneous trips to the tattoo/piercing shop (this may or may not be how I got my lip pierced), playing outside until the street light came on, walking barefoot everywhere, all-nighters with best friends writing papers and cramming for tests, joy-riding, hanging out across the street, random dance parties with my roommates...the list can go on forever (and this is already a long list).

I am probably the most nostalgic person I know. I have all my yearbooks set on a table in my room, ready for me to look at whenever I want (which I do probably more than any sane person should...haha). While I'm happy with where I am now, I am super sentimental, and like to keep everything to remind me of what I've done. When I actually think of all the things I was able to do while growing up and in college, it amazes me. I certainly haven't done an outrageous amount of things to make other people jealous of my life, but I've done so many things that fill me with so much joy.

Sometimes I get really sad when I think about how I'm never going to do most of those things again. Other times I get really happy to see how happy I was. I was definitely sad at different points in my life, but I mostly remember how happy I was and how those experiences shaped me into the woman I am today. And I quite like the woman I have become.

While thinking of the past gives me mixed feelings, I don't know how I feel about my future. I never know what to expect, so I really try to not think of it often. To be completely honest, thinking about my future scares me. I think if I even had a little bit of a plan I would be okay, but I don't. It's also weird to think that I had all this time to plan for now, and I'm still not ready. Will I ever be ready? I'm sure one day I'll think back to now and laugh at what I thought (and be embarrassed for putting it on the internet), but for now I'm just going to try to stop worrying.

I don't know where I'll end up, but I do know that I will be happy. I can't wait to continue making memories and then look back on them in a few years and just be happy with who I am and who I was.

Do you think of the past often? What do you think has had the greatest impact on your life? I would love to hear all about it :)

Here are my high school yearbooks, just in case you thought I was fibbing ;)

XOXO

Jen